Document Archive

BULLETIN — FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION

Date: January 6, 2025
From: Office of the Chief Research Officer
Re: MDU-7 Operational Status

Following the incident of November 2024, the Memory Destruction Unit (Series 7) has undergone comprehensive recalibration. All systems are now operating within acceptable parameters.

Specific improvements include:

• Replacement of the REDACTED manifold
• Recalibration of audiovisual output timing
• Installation of improved ventilation systems
• Complete sanitization of the processing chamber

The smell has been addressed. Research sessions may resume as scheduled.

— Dr. Elena Voss, Chief Research Officer

INCIDENT REPORT — FORM CRI-IR-7

Incident Reference: 2024-Σ
Date: November 17, 2024
Location: Mobile Deployment Site REDACTED
Reporting Officer: M. Chen, Director of Operations

Summary:

At approximately 14:32 PST, MDU-7 experienced an unscheduled resonance event during routine processing of Subject ####'s memory submission.

Details:

The processing cycle initiated normally. At T+47 seconds, operators observed REDACTED emanating from the primary chamber. The scheduled "malfunction" sequence triggered 23 seconds early. Subjects in the immediate vicinity reported hearing REDACTED despite no audio being programmed for this interval.

The unit then produced an odor described variably as "burnt toast," "old photographs," and "my grandmother's house, specifically the closet where she kept her winter coats."

Immediate Actions Taken:

• Processing cycle manually terminated
• Subjects evacuated to safe distance
• Unit powered down and secured
• Refreshments provided to affected participants

Injuries: None reported. Several subjects described feeling "nostalgic" for approximately 20 minutes post-event.

Resolution: Unit transported to primary facility for recalibration. See Bulletin 2025-01-06.

Note: The grandmother's closet thing is new. Worth investigating? — E.V.

INCIDENT REPORT — CLASSIFIED

Incident Reference: 1994-Ω
Date: March 22, 1994
Location: Building C, Primary Facility
Reporting Officer: REDACTED

Summary:

REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED

Details:

At approximately ##:##, MDU-3 REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. Operators on duty included REDACTED, REDACTED, and Dr. REDACTED.

The REDACTED continued for approximately ## minutes. During this period, REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.

Building C was subsequently sealed. MDU-3 was destroyed / decommissioned / REDACTED.

Casualties: ##

Resolution: Directorate P assumed oversight. MDU-4 development authorized with revised safety protocols.

Note: This document remains partially classified under Directive 7-Alpha. Full disclosure pending review scheduled for 2044.

INTERNAL MEMORANDUM

Date: August 14, 2023
From: Director of Operations
To: All Personnel
Re: Stamp Usage Guidelines

It has come to the attention of this office that several personnel have been using classification stamps inappropriately. The following clarifications are provided:

• CLASSIFIED — For documents containing sensitive research data or operational details
• APPROVED — For forms and requests that have received proper authorization
• PROCESSED — For completed intake documentation
• [REDACTED] — For information that has been officially removed from a document

The following uses are NOT ACCEPTABLE:

• Stamping "CLASSIFIED" on your lunch in the break room refrigerator
• Stamping "APPROVED" on your own vacation requests
• Stamping "[REDACTED]" over Dr. REDACTED's face in the staff photo
• Creating custom stamps (looking at you, REDACTED)

Please use stamps responsibly. The supply is not unlimited.

— M. Chen

P.S. Whoever stamped "PROCESSED" on the coffee maker: well played. But stop it.

CHARTER OF INCORPORATION

Date: June 1, 1973
Location: REDACTED, Nevada

WHEREAS the undersigned parties recognize the importance of understanding the mechanisms of human cognition, memory formation, and perceptual processing;

AND WHEREAS certain REDACTED have demonstrated promising preliminary results in the field of selective memory processing;

AND WHEREAS the REDACTED and REDACTED have agreed to provide funding and operational support for a period of not less than ## years;

NOW THEREFORE, the COGNITIVE RESEARCH INSTITUTE is hereby established with the following mandate:

1. To conduct rigorous scientific research into the nature of memory and cognition
2. To develop methodologies for the REDACTED of unwanted cognitive artifacts
3. To maintain appropriate documentation of all activities
4. To REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED
5. To align experience with documentation

Signed this day by:

Dr. REDACTED, Founding Director
REDACTED, Representative, REDACTED
REDACTED, Representative, REDACTED

Подписано и заверено / Signed and Witnessed

BULLETIN — FOR GENERAL DISTRIBUTION

Date: September 3, 2024
From: Participant Liaison Office
Re: Memory Exchange Wall — Updated Guidelines

The Memory Exchange Wall has proven to be an unexpectedly popular feature of our research program. However, recent submissions have necessitated the following clarifications:

ACCEPTABLE submissions include:

• Embarrassing moments you'd rather forget
• Minor regrets and missed opportunities
• That thing you said at a party in 2007
• Song lyrics you can't get out of your head
• The face of someone whose name you forgot

UNACCEPTABLE submissions include:

• Memories that are not your own
• Recipes (use the bulletin board in the break room)
• Complaints about Institute parking
• The entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody" (submitted three times last week)
• Detailed descriptions of dreams (nobody wants to read about your dreams, REDACTED)

Thank you for your cooperation in maintaining the integrity of this research tool.

— Dr. June Holloway, Participant Liaison

INTERNAL MEMORANDUM — PRIORITY

Date: December 26, 1991
From: Office of the Director
To: All Personnel
Re: Operational Transition

As you are no doubt aware, recent geopolitical developments have necessitated changes to our organizational structure. Effective January 1, 1992, the Cognitive Research Institute will transition to fully independent operations.

What this means for you:

• All REDACTED personnel will be reassigned or released
• Funding will continue through domestic channels
• Research priorities remain unchanged
• The cafeteria will no longer serve borscht on Thursdays

What this does NOT mean:

• We are not "closing"
• We are not being "investigated"
• The Cyrillic signage will remain in place for "historical purposes"
• Directorate P operations continue as normal

Please direct any questions to your department head. A formal announcement will be made in the new year.

Thank you for your continued dedication to our mission.

— Dr. REDACTED, Director

P.S. The vodka in the supply closet is not Institute property. Please stop submitting requisition forms for it.